Se Hace Camino Al Andar

I’m sitting with my newborn daughter, six weeks old today, as she sleeps off another feeding. This iPhone is the perfect new mommy gift because it allows me to stay connected, even when I’m otherwise occupied or pressed into duty. This morning, I’m scrolling Twitter and reading my regular round of teacher blogs. Everyone has planning on the brain, including me. Why me? After all, I’m not going back to work on September 2nd. This is a weird feeling for me. Planning is what I do. I’m good at it, even if the execution sometimes leaves much to be desired. This is the first time since I started Kindergarten that I haven’t had a “Back to School.” I’m not kidding… I’ve always been a student and/or a teacher.
So, what should I do with myself? For starters, I’m keeping up on my education news because I’d like to write an article or two for the new blog, GothamSchools. It’s taking me awhile to get back into the writing groove but I’ve been thinking about my sister’s experience with special education in NYC. My nephew goes to a private special ed school because my sister felt that he wasn’t getting adequate services. The State pays for much of his tuition thanks to a State law that allows parents to sue for educational services. What happens to kids whose parents don’t have access to the knowledge and resources required to do the same? Does this law provide any incentive for schools to improve the quality of services offered to special needs kids?
On another note, this same sister has a daughter entering kindergarten this year. I had the opportunity to observe her navigate the DOE channels of kindergarten enrollment and the Gifted&Talented screening process. Enlightening, to say the least…
These are just some of the things I have floating around in my mind as we approach another new school year. In the meantime, I’m keeping my finger on the pulse as best as I can!

It’s not that I have nothing to say. If anything, I have too much to say.

It goes without saying that my life these days is consumed by baby,baby, baby… she is growing by leaps and bounds. I’m struck by how noticeable and non-gradual her growth is. One day, her feet reach nowhere near the end of her stroller seat and the next, she takes up the full length of it. An outfit that was humongous on her last week fits almost perfectly this week.

My mind, though, is not entirely consumed by all things baby. I have lots of things floating around up there, like how I might offer my services as a policy analyst to a local politician, or what kinds of education issues I might want to write about for a certain new blog. I think about my husband’s job opportunities and hope that we’ll be able to move upstate sooner rather than later. (Anybody want to buy a cute little one-bedroom studio in a friendly building in the Riverdale section of The Bronx?)

In the meantime, I hang around here, waiting for my sister to come back from the cape with the kids, keeping myself occupied with my mommy friends (Hi, Sue! Hi, Edith! Hi, Freyja!), baking bread and muffins, and looking at the calendar which is heavily inked in for the end of the month and the month of September. Alice will be doing lots of car travel as we head to the FDR Museum  in Hyde Park for family time with my mom, her baby naming in Albany, a wedding celebration in Greenfield, MA (with a side trip to Cooperstown!), and back to Albany for the High Holy Days at the end of September.  In the meantime, I wait for this slow streak to pass, which is not a bad thing at all when I’ve got great company!

Technorati Tags: ringsling babywear

GothamSchools is a project of The Open Planning Project and is a “news source and online community for teachers, parents, policy makers and journalists interested in learning about what works and what doesn’t in the nation’s largest school district.”

GothamSchools

Technorati Tags: education, media

I’ve had my “Write Post” page open since yesterday and totally intended to do a Memoir Mondays post, but instead, I’ll skip ahead to Slice of Life Tuesdays. It’s tempting to fill my blog up with a plethora of Alice pictures but I’ll restrain myself. That’s what Flickr and Facebook are for!

So, what is life like now? We’ve managed to get a decent amount of sleep so far, though definitely significantly less than before. My day revolves around Alice’s sleeping and eating. We don’t believe in putting a baby on a schedule but we definitely have fallen into a routine. Alice eats all day long, about every two or three hours and generall sleeps in between. Her last “meal” of the day is around midnight or 1am, then we manage to sleep until 5am, at least and sometimes until 6 or 7. This is short-lived, I tell myself!

For the first week and half after we brought Alice home from the hospital, my mobility was limited, thanks to my stitches. Over the past few days, I’ve started to feel normal again and stopped taking my painkillers a few days ago. Progress!! Now that the heat wave has lifted a bit, I’m eager to get outside and walking around. I’ve never gone so long without fresh air and direct sunlight! Yes, I believe that those two things, along with lots of water and walking have curative powers, for mind, body and spirit.

One of my goals now is to keep my mind active, so I don’t become a total zombie mom. I managed to do part of a crossword last week and I’m working my way through a few books, as well as keeping up with the NY Times, as best as I can. Having an iPhone (!) makes this a bit easier… I can read the latest NY Times articles while feeding Alice, and become more adept at one-handed iPhone operation in the process. I’ve also gotten myself back into the kitchen. It’s tempting to eat take-out every night but ultimately, cooking our own meals is better for all of us, nutritionally and financially. Sometimes Henry cooks, sometimes I cook. We’ve been making a conscious effort to utilize all the veggies we’re getting in our farm share. Right now, we have a glut of apricots and white plums. There’s an apricot relish and a grilled apricot pizza on the To Do list at the moment.

So, there’s a bit of the mundane Slice of Life I have going these days. No doubt, I’ll have more exciting things to talk about… sooner, rather than later, I hope!

And just because I can’t resist, here’s a little greeting from Alice:

Technorati Tags: alice, slice of life story challenge

Posted by mobile phone:
Not the easiest way to blog but it’ll do when I’m on the go!

Alice and Her Nanny Goat, originally uploaded by NCavillones.

Alice Ann

Monday, July 7, 2008
9:21am
6 lbs, 7oz
18 & 3/4 inches

Semi-regular blog posting might resume soon, or not. In the meantime, you can find us on Flickr.

Barefoot and Pregnant, originally uploaded by NCavillones.

We say bye-bye to the belly and hello to the baby today. I’ll be back with updates.

Mike Rose has a blog!! I can’t tell you how exciting this is. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this sooner. Thanks to Eduwonkette, via Cool Cat Teacher, for the tip.

Mike Rose’s Blog

Technorati Tags: blog, mike rose

I knew that when I left my school back in January, I would miss my teachers the most. We had great comradeship and got along houses afire. Yesterday evening, the lovely ladies I taught with threw me a baby shower… a tea party, to be exact! I met the ladies at Alice’s Tea Cup, Chapter III (there are three locations), where we drank tea, stuffed ourselves on tea sandwiches and sweets, and caught up on the old gossip (for my benefit!). I cannot see these ladies enough… we’re having lunch today, along with some other teachers that weren’t at the shower, and I’ll see them again on Thursday, at the school’s graduation. I’m really looking forward to seeing my kids, especially my AP students from last year who are graduating this year.
I worked at this school for 7 years, and in many ways, those were my formative years. I had just graduated from college when I began teaching, I started and finished my Master’s degree while there, I learned a lot about myself, what I’m made of, what my values are. I was humbled and uplifted, learning just as much from my kids and colleagues as I hoped they learned from me.
In any case, enjoy a few pictures from the party!

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

Technorati Tags: alice's teacup, baby shower, fete, slice of life story challenge, tea party

On Thursday, we had our 36 week check-up. All is well with the babe but she is currently presenting breech. The hospital where I am giving birth has a policy of doing C-Sections with breech babies, so I am on a clock. The babe has three weeks to turn around before the section, which was scheduled rather swiftly, too swiftly for our comfort.
Since then, I’ve been feeling an enormous onslaught of emotion. My fears towards the C-Section stem from anxiety about having surgery (which I’ve never had before, ever! I’ve never even broken a bone!), feelings of inadequacy, concerns about how this affects our insurance (stupid, I know!), and so on. I’ve been doing research online not just about C-Sections but about turning around a breech baby, in an attempt to gain some control and ownership over this. I’ve had a relatively easy pregnancy, no complications, no stress, not even any swelling in my ankles (heh).
And now… it’s all catching up to me. One of the things I read online was that barring any other condition, a breech presentation can be caused by the baby feeling the need to comfort the mother by getting close to her heart, picking up on the mother’s anxiety and fear. This makes sense to me. While I haven’t felt stressed out these 9 months, I do tend to internalize my stress and pretend it isn’t there, or manifest the stress in other ways. In this case, I’ve had plenty of external, non-baby things to stress out about, like our kitchen renovation and our financial security (I quit my job in January).
Taking a cue from Birthing From Within, I decided to do some journaling and visualization exercises to try and purge these feelings from my system– not just my feelings about having a C-Section but my feelings about being a mother. After journaling, I copied all the negative words onto pieces of paper, and Henry and I burned them in the bathroom sink, an exorcism, if you will. Now, I can begin to focus on using positive imagery to try and get the baby to turn, and barring that, take back control over the situation by having as much input as possible into the C-Section.
I’ve had well-meaning people in my life tell me, “oh, it’s not a big deal,” or “everyone does it,” or “what matters is the health of the baby.” (That last one, in particular, irks me as it implies that I’m ignoring that aspect of it.) These are not comforting words to me, as they imply that my feelings are not valid, and I find such comments to be dismissive and disrespectful, however well-meaning they are intended to be. My response to those comments is that I’m not “everyone,” that this is about me and my experience and that my fears and anxiety are perfectly valid. I’m not putting myself over the health of my baby, as some people have implied. Rather, I am working through my emotions to come to terms with a different image of giving birth than what I’ve had for the past 8 months. It’s not an easy thing for me to switch gears all of a sudden. After this little exorcism, I’m finding that I resent the fact that I feel defensive about being nervous and scared, and this is not helping. I’m just really thankful that my husband has been supportive and has helped me work through this. I’ve never ruled out a C-Section but it’s always been on my last resort list, as it should be. C-Sections are not natural and normal, as our society has come to view it; it should be a medically necessary procedure, not something done out of convenience or out of fear. Most people I know have had C-Sections because it was safer for both mother and baby, and that’s the way it should be. I’m done preaching now and tucking my soapbox back under the bed.
I welcome all your positive vibes and thoughts.

Technorati Tags: birthing from within, visualization